2012 isnt really a smooth sailing year for me.
first, i was being badly hurt.
hurt twice somemore.
idk what did u take me for?
a toy or a substitude?
i cant believe you are happily attached right now while im still stuck here all alone by myself.
im happy for you that at least you had move on and be with someone who can bring happiness to you,im glad. but yeah it really sucks to see you with her,your photos with her. it pains me. its even harder for me to forget about our past relationship and remain as a good friend.do you even still rememboer the first time we broke up and you told me that you dont wanna lose a friend like me because im really an awesome friend to you.
till now, do you even still remember it? im still waiting for us to be good friends again. i really do miss those times. i miss those times when you will walk me home, having fun together,chit chatting,you telling me about your stuffs and me telling you about my stuffs. i missed those times that you opened up to me. but change is the only constant,i cant expect things to be the same way till forever.and for that period of time , im really glad that you are willing to share some stuffs with me and that shows that you trusted me.im thankful for that.
sometimes i wished that we werent together before,if not things will not turn out this way. I still remember you giving me the muffins and brought all the way to dover for me because i told you i missed evg muffins that were baked by npcc to raise fund for the needy.
i dont even know till now, why is it so hard for me to get over you. just why. what had you done to me. sometimes all i need was your concern about me. asking me hows my life and all. sometimes i really hope we can talk like normal friends,but i guess its hard. Its just a beautiful mistake that we got together. A relationship that ruined a friendship, that isnt wht i wanted.
but one of my good friend told me that if we were mature enough,staying good friends is not a big problem.if we dare to step into a relationship, we must be prepare to let it go too.
afterall,im just not a strong person.Everyone might see me as a happy go lucky girl,but deep inside im not.All this emotions are killing me.
talking about fyp,its one of the worst thing ever in my poly life.It makes me realise how useless am i , most of the things were done by my good friend. im turning 21 in a few more days time and i dont even know what i want in life, whats the purpose of me studying and all.I seem like having a bleak future.Aimless life, getting nowhere but just living my life with the flow..this isnt a good thing afterall.
talking about friends..sometimes i think that i should just not keep in touch with some people,because i realised that having so many friends are useless.i still feel alone at times too.but im really glad for those closed friends i have,really blessed to have them in my life.
i shall just end here.
till i blog again. /x